Kingsman: The Secret Service

“I have a hard time understanding you people some times” — Samuel L Jackson
This is the quote that resonated the most with me throughout the movie. But not for the reasons you think. As some of you may know, I have a serious disdain for British Cinema. One of the drawbacks I find is that I’m too distracted trying to hear what they are saying that it takes me out of the situation and I cannot focus on the plot going on. I had no issues with British accents in this movie. No, it was Samuel L’s lisp! It was so ridiculously corny and on the nose that he was trying to be like a stereotypical villain that it came off as Samuel L with a lisp.  

All in all, this movie wasn’t terrible. It started off pretty awful and I thought to myself what the hell has Erich gotten me into. But it got better and there were even some parts I would say I liked. The issue with action movies, in my opinion, is that they are all so convoluted to make sure the good guy wins, that during the parachute scene it was obvious that he was going to be the one with no parachute and they were going to make it okay. I did like how they balanced that out with a main star dying unceremoniously right at the start of the third act. The last half hour actually had some great turns, but was negatively by some cheesy moments that were supposed to make you sympathetic towards Eggsy and new Lancelot. It was a forced relationship that wasn’t needed.

While watching I was wondering if I could have past these test and I don’t think they are very hard.  I’m a fairly good swimmer, I have never shot a gun but it doesn’t look that hard.  I have always wanted to go sky diving and I would have shot that dog to be a spy.  No brainer.  Also I even knew it was a blank bullet.  If the kingsman wanted to be serious players in the spy community give them an M16 with live rounds and then see who is still a spy.  That’s the guy I want defending my country

With all this being said, I wouldn’t say I would go see the sequel that is currently being made, nor would I actively turn this movie on if I saw it playing. I wouldn’t turn it off if it was on FX and I had laundry to fold though. And for that it gets a 6.6/10

Erich’s next movie:

Frances Ha (2013)

This quintessential modern independent movie follows a mid-20’s ballet dancer struggling to make it in New York City. It starts Greta Gerwig and Adam Driver. It is directed by one of my favorites, Noah Baumbach. Enjoy!

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