Beauty and the Beast (2017)

This weekend I saw the new BATB and it was an adventure.  Strap on in because oh boy do I have a story for you.  

So many of you don’t know, but I tend to get a tad neurotic, especially when it comes to my routines.  I like doing things in a certain way; every Sunday I go to my best friends house and sit in the same seat.  If I don’t sit there it feels weird and I won’t be comfortable.  So when my mom wanted to see BATB, she wanted to go early on Sunday morning.  Sounds good, the AMC at Neshaminy has a showing at 11.  She said it wasn’t early enough, “let’s do the 9:30 at Franklin Mills”.  I’m a natural early riser, so that wasn’t an issue.  If you aren’t from Philly, you don’t know the trash pit that is the Franklin Mills Mall.  It is filled with degenerates and people who have no movie theater ethic.  This is where my journey begins.


So my father (not a movie guy at all) joins us and we get there just slightly before 9, as per my request.  This gives me a chance to pick the most optimal seat and watch some of the NCM pre-movie-entertainment, hosted by the ever-so wonderful Maria Menounos.  I get to the doors and they are locked.  

“That’s odd.  The movie starts in a half hour.  I guess they open right at 9”, I say to myself.  

The doors didn’t open.  We had to walk through the mall to see that they werent opening until 9:45.   Now how does a movie theater open at 9:45 when they have a showing at 9:30?  Well after several complaints they opened the doors at 9:25 and I got my drink and sat down.  My fathers seat broke which meant the seating arrangement was a tad off and I was left to my own devices.   It looked something like this

  • Me
  • Empty broken seat
  • Mother (who held the snacks)
  • Father (who I was sharing my drink with)

As the lovely residents of Northeast Philadelphia file in, I notice an alarming number of small children.  I’m not good with ages but they seemed to be under the age of 3.  All of them.  And they all were yelling and crying and running around… DURING THE MOVIE!  My first movie in the theaters was Beauty and the Beast when I was around 2 1/2 or 3.  My mom said I never acted like that.  Parents, control your kids.  

So to my review of the movie:

  • It was a nice retelling of an all time classic
  • The things that they added or changed really filled in some plot holes I didn’t realize where there before
  • The new song for the Beast was amazing
  • Dan Stevens has solidified himself as the next Guy.  If you haven’t seen him in The Guest, go check it out because it’s seriously awesome
  • Still not sold on Emma Watson because I still cannot remember that poor girls name.  As I am writing this I wrote Stone instead of Watson
  • Josh Gad as LeFou was perfect and him paying the people at the bar to pipe Gaston up as much as possible was ingenious 
  • Speaking of Gaston, he needs to eat a few more dozen of eggs
  • It felt like it was missing some of the charm that the original film has.  Something just felt off

Rating: 7.9/10

    So I didn’t really get into the plot of the story because everyone knows it.  If you haven’t seen the original Disney cartoon, definitely try and seek that one out because it’s fantastic 


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